
As I sit by my daughter’s bedside waiting for the end to inevitably come, I watch thinking of the immense love I have for her. How can a little girl who is incapable of any “normal” physical activity – like running, smiling, or even pouting – be breaking my heart into so many pieces?
I wish I could take away all the pain and suffering. But God didn’t give me that assignment. My assignment was to be a steward of this precious, beautiful girl for a brief 6 years here on Earth. It’s a privilege that I am thankful for and, yet, ever so challenging. The assignment to take away pain and suffering was given to Jesus Christ. He will do that for her in the not too distant future. For now, I must continue to pour out the love for her that He has deposited in me.
I wish that, at any moment, Evangeline would wake up and be the vivacious, precocious 6 year old we all think she would be. I have lived several years now hoping and praying for a miracle of physical healing. For whatever reason, God has chosen not to grant that request here on Earth. Does that mean He is not good? It may be easy to think so but I believe the answer is no. She has challenged us – just like her middle name says – to have Faith in the plans of the Almighty even though we can’t understand His purpose.
Without a doubt, we can say that we would not be the family we are today without Evangeline. Without any specific action on her part, God has used her to transform each of us in some ways we understand now and some ways we won’t realize until sometime in the future. And, really, isn’t that the best gift she could have given us? We love her with all our heart and, through the process, God uses her to change us into His image. Sounds like a pretty important job for a severely disabled little girl!
Run on home to your Heavenly Father, Evangeline. We will always love and miss you deeply!
The doctor’s are keeping Evangeline comfortable as we wait. It is clear to all of us that her brain is not capable of sustaining the processes necessary to keep her alive. Everyone on her team has the goal of a peaceful end. Please pray that God’s mercy will continue with us through this process.